Dealing with negative people

Publication Date: April 9, 2014, 4:30 p.m.


The definition of a negative person is summarized in the quote of the French intellectual Jeanne de la Bruyere: “The pleasure we feel in criticizing robs us from being moved by very beautiful things.”  Negative people are like black holes which drain us of our energy.  What can we do to deal with them?


Find the source of negativity


Try and determine why the person before you is negative.  Do they have a personal problem? Are they stressed with work or do they just lack self-confidence? Remember that some people believe that by complaining and continuously talking about how discontent they are, they become the centre of attention. This alone reflects their personality and is part of their character.


Don’t answer immediately


Our first reaction towards a negative person is always impulsive.  This may cause problems. Wait a while so as to calm down and see things in a more collected manner.


Put an end to the conversation


You could help them so they don’t feel alone.  If they keep on talking about the same problems and continue with the same criticism then at this point it’s best if you put an end to your conversation.



Go out together with other people


The more you meet with negative people, the more they will drain you off your energy.  Try going out together with other people and you will see that you will feel better, since the negative energy will be shared out.Besides, more opinions will be heard.  Maybe this way one of these opinions will give the negative person a more optimistic viewpoint.



Try and help them


Many times some people are negative because they don’t get enough love or aren’t optimistic in life.  Indeed, they themselves build a wall around them because this way they believe they will protect themselves from the people around them.  Think about what you can do to help them.



Say: “Tell me something positive”


When they have finished narrating their “tragic” experience, ask them to tell you a funny or happy story.  Some people don’t realize that their character changes gradually and they become negative.  Asking them to do this helps them realize it.  Maybe they don’t even like the person they have turned into.


Be aware of how much time you spend with them.


Think about how you feel after you have met with negative and pessimistic people.  If you feel that your mood is bad after being with them , try not to spend so much time with them.  Even if they ask you to meet up more often, say no. When you are out with them, keep the conversation on a neutral ground.


Move away


If you see that none of these techniques works, then move away. Choose to spend time with people with positive energy.


Learn to deal with negative people.  If you feel they are draining you of your energy, protect yourself.  This way you will feel calmer and more secure, since you won’t have to deal with their pressure and negative influence.  Live your life the way you want to and keep the people you really want around you.




Writer: Panagiota Giannouli, 12/04/2012


Translator: Panayiota Vlahopoulou



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